Friday, February 15, 2008

The Broken Part of my Family

....I am trying my hardest not to hate him. I know deep down I don't but I really think something is making me feel that way so I will stop taking it all so hard. Maybe as a little sense of self protection from his hurtful ways. Cause boy does he know how to hurt people. They say 'HE'S SICK' But whatever... I don't understand just the same. Just cause he is 'sick' doesn't mean he cant choose to get better. It's not like a sickness you can relate with CANCER. They don't have a choice to get better. I guess I won't ever fully understand how one can be so selfish. I am sick of how he makes me feel so bad as well as the rest of the family. They say don't lose hope... how can you have hope when in the back of you mind you always knew it would come back to this? That he won't ever change. He's a liar. He's selfish, destructive, angry, stupid, mean, harsh and.... My brother. That's why it sucks and I have NO clue what to do... who to talk to cause few understand, or how to handle it.....